Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Dubai-MMD-Sept 21, 2005
I heard a great phrase last weekend when I ‘brunched’ with a group of British ex-pat ladies. They were describing a woman they knew who had upended her life and moved to Dubai to be with an Arab she’d met in London. They referred to her boyfriend as an MMD, a term I had never heard.
Life for their friend seemed good at first, all was handed to her a silver platter, a car, villa, clothes, etc. Little by little, however, this boyfriend began to take control of her life. Giving her ‘advice’ and ‘suggestions’ about what to wear, where to go, whom to see. While her friends could easily see what was happening and tried to warn her, she insisted that ‘My Mohammed’s Different.’ (MMD). She was addicted to the lifestyle.
The story reminded me of a woman I met in Cairo. A New Yorker through and through. She even talked like Rosie O’Donnell. She had met her husband while he was living in Manhattan trying to make it as a filmmaker. After 9/11 he proposed to her and then suggested they try to make a go of it in Cairo, his home. Like many Americans, she had never left the country but was up for the adventure. Her husband was ‘so liberal’ that he didn’t mind that she was a Catholic. He was ‘so liberal’ that he had longish hair and Buddy Holly specs. She could have never predicted how he would change.
They moved to Cairo, into the apartment next door to his parents. This is standard practice for Arabs. The family unit is important and most families will live, if not in the same house, then close by. Pretty soon my friend was confronted with the uncomfortable situation of being expected to befriend her husband’s mother – who spoke no English and had a habit of coming by at all hours to sit, be served tea and silently smile at my friend.
When my friend decided one day to tell the mother-in-law that she was busy cleaning and could not invite her in, she got the verbal wrath from her husband later that night. No matter the situation, he would ‘side’ with his mother over his wife. He was no longer the man she had married.
I assumed this was largely an Egyptian thing – these Egyptian boys are so grateful and respectful of their mommies that no wife will take priority. But it seems that here, in the oil-rich Gulf, there’s large numbers of single European women who actually target Arabs, in the hopes that one day they will become some sort of sheikha, albeit with no power over their own lives. And while I am sure the Gulfie boys don’t mind the attention, I have to believe they have some skepticism about potential gold (oil) diggers.
These expats, in the eternal search for an MMD of their own, sure don't make the rest of us look very good.
Life for their friend seemed good at first, all was handed to her a silver platter, a car, villa, clothes, etc. Little by little, however, this boyfriend began to take control of her life. Giving her ‘advice’ and ‘suggestions’ about what to wear, where to go, whom to see. While her friends could easily see what was happening and tried to warn her, she insisted that ‘My Mohammed’s Different.’ (MMD). She was addicted to the lifestyle.
The story reminded me of a woman I met in Cairo. A New Yorker through and through. She even talked like Rosie O’Donnell. She had met her husband while he was living in Manhattan trying to make it as a filmmaker. After 9/11 he proposed to her and then suggested they try to make a go of it in Cairo, his home. Like many Americans, she had never left the country but was up for the adventure. Her husband was ‘so liberal’ that he didn’t mind that she was a Catholic. He was ‘so liberal’ that he had longish hair and Buddy Holly specs. She could have never predicted how he would change.
They moved to Cairo, into the apartment next door to his parents. This is standard practice for Arabs. The family unit is important and most families will live, if not in the same house, then close by. Pretty soon my friend was confronted with the uncomfortable situation of being expected to befriend her husband’s mother – who spoke no English and had a habit of coming by at all hours to sit, be served tea and silently smile at my friend.
When my friend decided one day to tell the mother-in-law that she was busy cleaning and could not invite her in, she got the verbal wrath from her husband later that night. No matter the situation, he would ‘side’ with his mother over his wife. He was no longer the man she had married.
I assumed this was largely an Egyptian thing – these Egyptian boys are so grateful and respectful of their mommies that no wife will take priority. But it seems that here, in the oil-rich Gulf, there’s large numbers of single European women who actually target Arabs, in the hopes that one day they will become some sort of sheikha, albeit with no power over their own lives. And while I am sure the Gulfie boys don’t mind the attention, I have to believe they have some skepticism about potential gold (oil) diggers.
These expats, in the eternal search for an MMD of their own, sure don't make the rest of us look very good.
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